Ichigo was staying at home, taking a break from Hollow-hunting and just chillaxing on his computer, googling what fangirls had drawn about his epicness. Unbeknownst to him, several very good artists had taken up a certain form of art involving homosexuality... Looking through the pictures and stories, Ichigo came upon a seemingly innocent doujinshi. He proceeded to read it, seeing his Hollow side and assuming it was about him defeating Hichigo...
However, things did not go as planned. Ichigo's scream was so loud it scared all the birds in a 50-mile radius into hiding, and shattered the eardrums of several unsuspecting canines and felines. "WHAT THE F-censored- IS THIS S-censored-?!?!?!?" he yelled at the top of of his lungs. Rukia and Renji, who were over to visit, winced at the sheer volume his voice went up to.
"Ichigo, what's wrong?" Rukia asked.
Note: Yours truly, the storyteller, managed to find a way into Hueco Mundo and get this story, despite being previously "banned." Be glad you still have a source of stories to hear!
Szayel treated his dumber Fraccion rather badly. So badly, in fact, that they were getting very tired of it. The smartest among them, who had the astonishingly high IQ of 48, came up with a plan to strike back. After a few midnight meetings of planning, preparation, and getting drunk, they decided to stage a strike and form an army to defeat Szayel. On the designated day, about 20 of the Arrancars and regular dumb hollows who ran the factory gathered in front of it, forming what the leader called a "don't-cross wall" (a picket line). When Szayel got there for his daily checkup of the work, he was surprised at their rebellion. He immediately ordered them to go back to work, but the second-in-command, the most eloquent, stepped up and signaled that if Szayel crossed
The Wrong FishThe Wrong Fish
It was a cold rainy day, but those at Shonan's house were having a fish fry and sushi buffet. Hay-Lin and Aneki were happily cooking, while Krystalia was blackmailing the other attendees. Shonan was repeatedly forcing Dijira and Sasori together, laughing at their awkwardness, while Mist sat at one of the tables reading The Green Glass Sea. Tsumei had come over to visit along with Shino and Munhebi (Yoru had a stomachache and therefore was back at Hueco Mundo), and they were flying in the air above, Shino on his metal wits and Tsumei in a bird form. Soon, the fish was cooked and the sushi finished, and they all sat down to eat. Everyone sat at one of the tables, and they began to dig in. Halfway through the meal, Shonan noticed that Kisame wasn't with Mist. Very suspicious! she thought. Bounding over to sit next to her, Shonan began inquiring on the whereabouts of Kisame.
"Mist, where's the fish-face?"
Not as Innocent as You ThoughtNot as Innocent as You Thought
It was a nice day in the park. Ichigo was sitting on a park bench, browsing fan sites with his new iPad. As he looked through the stories, he saw one that caught his eye. Reading through it, he was appalled by the yaoi mentions in it. "WHY THE HELL DOES THIS INVOLVE ME?!?!? Mother of god!..." Just then, he heard a chuckle coming from inside his brain. Ichigo immediately knew who it was. "NOW THIS MOTHERF*CKER?!?!?!" he screamed. All the people within earshot turned to look at him angrily, and all the birds suddenly took off, not wanting to be near the crazy swearing carrot-head.
"Haha, like it king?" said the voice inside his head again, whom we now know is Hichigo.
"You son of a!"
Rukia was walking by, and was astounded by his apparent insanity and horrible swearing. "ICHIGO!!!" she shouted, interrupting him.
DreamSomeone had come along. Two people, actually. They'd come looking for a shelter, and entered the castle where Ichigo & Co. lived. Slowly they had gained trust from the others; more so with Ichigo, Orihime and Rukia than with the others. However, one day they betrayed that trust.
I was also a visitor at their castle, staying for protection as I had no powers. It was a decently warm day, and I was out for a stroll in some meadows around the castle. But suddenly I heard voices, and peering around a corner, witnessed the two newest guests performing some kind of ritual. I can't remember what it was anymore (curse you, memory!!!), but when they were done, there was a bright flash of light. As it cleared, instead of two people standing there, there was one. It was a female, who looked like some sort of sorceress. Panicked, I ran back toward the castle, but instead met them (Ichigo & Co.) all walking around the palace grounds. Once I'd explained what had happened
You're Fighting Over ME?!?!You're Fighting Over ME????
Sunny days in Hueco Mundo are hard to come by, unless they're from the fake sky in Las Noches. Strangely enough, the moon was shining very bright that day in Hueco Mundo, turning night into almost-day. Sadly, although many were enjoying this unusual bout of moonshine, two rather testosterone-filled males were having a go at it onthe middle of the desert. The two males? Ichigo Kurosaki and Ulquiorra Cifer.
The main puzzle was, who were they fighting over?! Amazingly, it was none other than large-boobed, kind-hearted, terrible-cook Orihime Inoue. Of course, she didn't know that they were fighting over her. She didn't even know they were fighting.
Ichigo was wearing his hollow mask and in Bankai, while Ulquiorra was on his second release. Both were bleeding profusely, the blood glowing a dark red in the moonshine.
Before we go forward, we must
How Yours Truly was Banned 3How Yours Truly was Banned from Hueco Mundo: part 3
After the sentence was delivered, I was taken back to my cell. Naturally, the only comfort I'd had (Krystalia) was now gone.
"Damn it; what in Gin's Hidden Talent is Aizen thinking?" I paced the floor like an angry tiger. But being the awesome monkey-face I am, I came up with a plan to astound even the smartest battle tactician. I won't tell you the details; your mind would be blown apart the intricacy of the plan. I did, however, leave myself enough time to troll Aizen as I left. Since I'd collected all my spyware, I'd managed to burn some embarrassing videos I'd taken onto a CD (no specifics allowed as to how; need-to-know basis) and left it in the cell I'd recently vacated. However, I set up a small mobile cam so I could see Aizen's face when he found me missing.
The next morning, the hench-Arrancar who'd restrained me yesterday came to fetch me, on
How Yours Truly was Banned 2How Yours Truly was Banned from Hueco Mundo: Part 2
In the great hall, Aizen was sitting on his throne wih a stormy look on his face. "Search her!" he barked at two low-ranked Espada. They immediately stripped me of my belongings, leavin me with only my hair clip which doubled as a voice recorder, all my clothes, and my contact lenses, which could be used to take pictures and record video. Aizen glared at me after looking through all the notes I'd taken, and threw them into a big pile.
"Cat Sun, hm? You look vaguely Asian...Which country are you from?"
I didn't want to reply, but he was using his bitch curl as a hypnotizer, and it was rather difficult to fight it. "I'm from China, Lieutenant Aizen."
"China...you mean the one that looks like a chicken?" I facepalmed in despair. Thank goodness I was recording this, his idiocy was frightening.